Looking like he was sitting on a kid’s chair, the tall and lanky Friedrich Merz started his inaugural meeting in the White House as German chancellor by presenting Donald Trump with the birth certificate of the US President’s grandfather.

The document was from 1869 from a small town in what’s now southwest Germany and was accompanied by a copy translated into English and written in the same style of calligraphy. It was placed appropriately in a golden frame, fitting the taste of its recipient.

The first name of Trump’s grandfather was “Friedrich,” Merz emphasised with a grin. The message was clear: the connection between the president and Germany is long and deep. “The U.S. and Germany share the same DNA,” Merz posted on X. “We are partners. We are friends. We are literally family.” Trump was gracious and noted it was “a serious German name” and heartily shook Merz’s hand.

According to the standards of international diplomacy, it was a well-executed manoeuvre. While cringey at times, it broke the ice and defused what could have otherwise been a testy exchange, given the tensions between Germany and the US and Trump’s running feud with Elon Musk. Back in February, Merz admitted that Germany’s defence must be independent of the US security umbrella after Trump’s calls for European nations to pay their way.

Merz heeded advice from other international leaders and let Trump do most of the talking, and he did ramble on for most of the 40 minutes that the press were allowed into the meeting, boasting about his successes and blaming his predecessor Joe Biden for setbacks (and repeatedly pointing to what Trump perceives as scandalous use of an automated signing tool).

But Merz did pick his moments, mainly pushing Trump on support for Ukraine. The German chancellor claimed that in contrast to the Kremlin, Kyiv was only hitting military targets, while Russia was kidnapping children.

He appealed to Trump’s ego by pointing to the 6 June anniversary of D-Day, which paved the way for the fall of the Nazis, and saying that Trump and America were again in a position to achieve something historic by ending another war in Europe.

In Germany, the visit was covered feverishly and closely with live blogs, streaming and commentary. The verdict was a collective sigh of relief. And Merz and his team will walk away with a sense of achievement.

Trump praised Merz on a number of occasions, calling him “a very good man to deal with” but also “difficult”. In the President’s vernacular of gamesmanship, that’s positive. He appreciated Germany’s more aggressive stance on defence spending and indicated that the two were on the same side on migration and the controversial Nord Stream 2 gas pipeline from Russia to Germany, taking a swipe at former Chancellor Angela Merkel (a nemesis for both men). Trump even claimed that while he wasn’t really close to Vladimir Putin, he and Merz were “friends”.

Importantly, the touchy topic of the far-right Alternative für Deutschland was avoided, despite concerns by Merz’s teams in the run-up. The recent move by Germany’s domestic intelligence service to classify the largest opposition party as a Right-wing extremist group was called “tyranny in disguise” by Secretary of State Marco Rubio, who sat on the couch next to Trump alongside Vice President JD Vance, who previously accused Germany of repressing free speech through its treatment of the AfD. Both were quiet during the meeting, unlike in some past Oval Office showdowns.

In the end, Merz is not leaving Washington with anything to offer the German people. But given President Trump’s volatility, Merz won by not losing. While he has a lot of work to do to re-establish German industry as a global player and calm domestic tensions, he has managed to calm relations with Washington and keep his name intact.