August 11, 2024 - 1:00pm
For at least three years, I’ve been writing about the decline of dating apps as part of a broader “vibe shift” in romance and sexuality. This week gave us yet another data point: yesterday, it was reported that Bumble’s shares crashed by a staggering 33%, wiping out an estimated $350 million in market value. This dramatic fall comes as the company has signalled that efforts to revamp its flagship app have failed to reignite growth.
But it’s not just Bumble experiencing problems. Despite generating $5.5 billion in global revenue in 2022, with Match Group alone accounting for $2.8 billion, the sector has shown signs of exhaustion. While over 300 million people worldwide use dating apps, downloads have trended downward since 2019.
Dating app downloads peaked at 287.4 million in 2019, but fell to 237 million by 2023. Even Tinder, long considered the industry leader, has seen its annual downloads fall from its peak in 2014. This decline is particularly pronounced among younger users, with 79% of Gen Z reporting dating app burnout.
Bumble’s struggles are emblematic of the broader issues facing dating apps, though its branding might also compound its problems. Once the “progressive alternative” in the dating app space, Bumble’s women-centric approach and airy, liberal feminist aesthetic might come off as “cheugy,” a term denoting something that was once trendy but is now seen as trying too hard or out of touch.
For Bumble, not only do dating apps not appeal to younger users, but neither does its image. Look at what happened to the feminist-focused co-working space the Wing, after all.
As traditional dating apps struggle, alternative methods of meeting potential partners continue to grow in popularity. In-person singles events have experienced a remarkable resurgence. Attendance at dating events in the US grew by 42% in 2023 compared to the previous year, surpassing pre-pandemic levels. According to at least one source, singles events incorporating board games experienced a 400% rise in attendance from 2022 to 2023.
This shift toward meeting in person reflects a growing desire for more… well, humanity, particularly after prolonged social distancing during the Covid-19 pandemic and with the looming spectre of AI-generated “slop.” We’re also seeing — at least in some corners of the Internet — the continued revival of other traditional, slower, and more nostalgic methods. Personals litter popular Substacks and even media outlets, including Blocked and Reported, Richard Hanania’s newsletter, and Bari Weiss’s Free Press Matchmaking services, including those that are digitally assisted, like Keeper, continue to emerge both on the timeline and in startup accelerators.
Anecdotally, even e-dating — that is, Internet dating outside of dating apps — appears to be more attractive than app-based dating. People quip that “Twitter is a dating app” (or Instagram or LinkedIn) for a reason: the good ole’ DM slide is much more gratifying than the swipe. People are sick of being disconnected, and, despite the sometimes suffocating atmosphere of doom around social media, they are doing something about it.
One question remains: will this dating renaissance solve “the sex recession”? It is yet to be seen if people are meeting, dating, and not having sex, or if the sex recession is the product of a broader trend of isolation. As people move off dating apps and into the world of matchmaking, singles events, e-dating, and classifieds, it will become clearer exactly which path young people are taking.
Katherine Dee is a writer. To read more of her work, visit defaultfriend.substack.com.
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SubscribeThe product of these dating apps is you, yourself. If they find you a match in a month, then you’ll cancel your subscription straightaway.
Whereas, if you spend a year on a dating app, unsuccessfully looking for a match, you’ll be paying them for a year (12x the money).
Solving your problem is bad for their business!
True for far too many businesses, especially the bureaucracy business.
I met my husband of 20 years on a dating site after a week. Did not hook up. Not Tinder. A confirmed bachelor who was playing the field. Did the singles nights once (awful off putting desperation) and frankly meeting through friends or at the bar didn’t work. Write to someone for a good long while, see if you jibe and can construct a sentence. See if your intelligence and humour aligns. Then meet and communicate some more.
In order to figure out if your jibe, wouldn’t just going on a date make more sense? With written communication you have no idea what the person looks like, if anything they are saying is true, or if they’re even the person they claim to be.
We used yo know how to do this. Meet someone (however it happens). Then go for coffee or a drink. If I goes well, go out to dinner and a movie. If it’s still positive, keep dating.
Finally some good news. From where I’m standing, Tinder and it’s ilk personify much of the malaise affecting society; not the cause per se, but a symptom that exacerbates the issue. It seems emblematic of our nonsensical decision to rewrite society’s rules to suit the exemptions. Nothing screams actual, real-world Patriarchy like 70% of hypergamous woman competing for the same 30% of toxic men, but we are to believe that this is somehow ‘progress’ in gender relations.
My borderline-incel-esque grumbling aside, a return to the ‘old ways’ of actual human connection is a heartening sign. Even if it doesn’t reverse our population collapse, we’ll at least be a little less lonely and bitter as we circle the civilizational drain. And that’s gotta count for something, right? 🙂
If we want a more efficient dating market, with added feminism, and less pestering by unsuitable men, it’s easy. No apps needed. Women should just do what men do – overcome their fear of rejection and make the approach. That’s it. Just ask men out.
Quite, although, David, you are sounding more like a second gen feminist as time goes on.
Asking people you fancy out is daunting for young people though – always has been – as the stakes are high if you’ve never had a relationship before, and you have little life behind you to show what you’re made of. Easy for us old folks who’ve done it before, and for whom sexual relationships are only one of many commitments/worries/sources of self-worth including jobs, offspring, elderly parents and money.
If we want grandkids we should probably be lowering the stakes for engagement not pulling up the drawbridge – this means promoting tolerance such as seeing embarassment and awkwardness for what they are, not as “red flags”, and also ensuring secure, reasonably-paid work for young people, including apprenticeships, in our companies.
I’ve read that GenZ young adults long to meet someone in real life. They want to meet “cute” like the romantic movies from the nineties. But they are afraid, because they are isolated. They live their lives staring at their phones. They have have no social experience. I feel sorry for them. My husband and I met sort of like the movies. I hated him at first. Then we would sit around smoking and became friends. I dropped the man who I was dating, and the rest is history.
Despite it’s supposed “feminist” or “woman centred” vibe, Bumble was the only app (out of at least 6 I tried as a middle aged woman with niche sexual preferences) on which I encountered a couple of men who felt entitled enough to come up with requests of a “show us your tits then” type. Anecdote is obviously not data, but I’ve always wondered if the Bumble format had anything to do with this: being messaged first seemed to encourage this kind of behaviour.
Dating apps are only useful for a rough screening process. The false narrative of the internet is pervasive to younger generations. In-person intuition will quickly reveal if you have a match.